An Education in Higher Education

Last weekend we went to our first college recruitment visit. A coach has been courting Bryan to come play at their school. It seemed like a tempting proposition. The college is in a picturesque town in western North Carolina a 3 hour ride, through the Blue Ridge mountains. We got up at 5 a.m. Saturday morning, the tour and welcoming committee wanted us there at 9:30. The campus was founded in 1853, and the coaches couldn't have been nicer with their southern hospitality. The well-educated head coach uses the phrase "dad-gum" in just about every opportune statement, it is a real different world in the mountains! The Yankee in me just shudders, Bryan has lived here long enough that it is becoming part of his vocabulary too!

After 8 hours of pep talks and tours, we were done and ready for the long ride home. The college isn't what Bryan pictured for himself, there are only 650 students, I truly didn't know such a small college existed, but they do dot the South, as we are learning. He has gotten some strange offers from as far away as northern Minnesota, but nothing feels like the right fit yet.

Being the parent of a potential student athlete is a complicated journey.

To Be Thankful

I had the most heart warming experience on one of the coldest of winter nights. It was the Football banquet wrapping up the season. Each Senior was filmed reflecting about what they have learned, who influenced them and a true long heartfelt thank you to their moms. All the moms were teary and I was just welling with pride, that my young man could express himself so well, he hit every high and low point so well. "Thanks for all those early morning rides to school in your PJs, thanks for doing my nasty laundry every night, thanks for running my forgotten gear or homework over to school, etc. It was a long time coming and it meant a lot, to be publicly thanked, no kid rushed through it--just awesome.

When thinking back on it I think, it was not just for the benefit of the moms, it was also a great life lesson for these young men to teach them to be thankful as well, if you go through life without gratitude, you can develop a real problem with future relationships. I think the younger players who are there to witness this, also learn a lesson from the "big" guys, seeing them with humility, and acknowledging they didn't do this alone. Each of the coaches got up to the podium and broke down with emotion, an amazing thing to witness. Another chapter closes.

Snow Day 2011! The Epilogue

What started out as a blast is now lingering on its 3rd day. We arose this morning to another day of a paralyzed city. It is amazing how much you miss your routine when you are forced to break it! Our eating habits have been atrocious, we are cooking, baking and eating for sheer entertainment. I finally was able to escape to work late this morning, once Jim ventured out to check my route to work for ice. I was happy to get out and had a mere 89 important emails to answer.

You would not believe how unplowed roads and steep hills make for such a mess. The first day we did have fun running around on the ATV, it was like a lawless no-man's land kids sledding on what is usually a busy main road, no threat of any police, they were also not able to patrol because of the ice, no postal service with no apologies, I hate to think if you needed an ambulance what would have happened. ATL really needs to invest in some snow removal equipment, the schools are sure to be out the rest of the week since it is still frigid.

Living on the Edge

I have always prided myself on being smart with my money and always maximizing a dollar. So when shopping for a house, we have always strived to live on the edge of a really nice town. The cheaper edge that is. In Florida, it worked out perfectly, we lived on the border of Boca Raton, one of the nicest areas in south Florida. I was able to take advantage of all the great shopping, beautiful parks and great schools, without the high dollar zip code. I would sit in traffic jams surrounded by Jauguars, Mercedes and Porshes and chuckle to myself thinking about what they paid for thier cars.

When relocating to Atlanta, I did my research, I wanted the best schools and the lowest possible taxes, but also great sports, parks etc. We started looking in the "better" part of town and realized there were lots of fees and strict rules that come along with living there. We went just a mile down the road, found a much bigger house on a huge lot, with no rules and even lower fees. And just like before, we get to enjoy the assets of the affluent town.

There is only one drawback, who are my children friends with? Children who are handed a set of keys to a beautiful car on their 16th birthday, children who go on cruises for spring break and ski every winter, children who get the latest gadget the minute it debuts! And now children who can go to high-dollar colleges. As an adult I don't have trouble with the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality, I know the full picture. But what ends up happening is as a parent it seems you can never measure up. I know it is better for my kids to learn fiscal lessons, earlier in life, that you can be happy with less and living on a budget is reality. But this time of year my mind is always blown by what some of their friends receive as gifts. I have a feeling these children will be surprised when they go out on their own someday.

Supporting Role

Well the "Glory Days" of the great football season are behind us, now it's back to reality. Jim and I need to help Bryan weigh all his options and help guide him to the next phase in his life, inching toward adulthood. It is a thankless job, most of the time, the satisfaction that you are doing the right thing definitely has to come from within, because teens aren't known for appreciating guidance from their parents.

We have the cap and gown ordered ($100!) the Senior portraits are taken, the calls from recruiters are coming in, many of his friends have been accepted to the college of their choice. The wheels are in motion! The tests have been taken and retaken, trying to get the scores he needs. Nothing ever goes easy for him!

There is a lot more to do and time is ticking away-- the tap dance between nagging and letting him figure it out on his own is where we are at right now. Once a decision is made, then we get to access how we are going to pay for it all--intimidating stuff! It seems like just yesterday, I was teaching him to walk, now we are starting to nudge him out of the nest!

Painful Perk

I have a great arrangement at work where I have access to a low cost massage once a month , this is a good thing since I have chronic back and neck pain from 25 years of sitting in front of a computer.

I have a love/hate relationship with this process, it feels indulgent since the massuese is awesome and knows my back problems very well, she is methodical and so knowledgeable, and one hour of peace and uninterrupted attention is so nice. But oooh does it hurt, during and after, the next day I feel beat up, but I know it is a necessary part of unlocking my tight muscles, I will keep going back for more!

The Difference Between Mom and Dad

I was chatting on my phone last night when Chris picked up the house phone, "Bryan needs to talk to you Mom. " I am waving him off because I am in the middle of a conversation, so Jim grabs the phone.

I hear, "Hmm, well that stinks, figure it out," and Jim settles back on the couch and continues to watch TV. After I hang up I ask "What was that all about?"

"Bryan locked his only set of keys in his truck"

I immediately start to get up, he says "just sit down he needs to figure this out on his own."

I was ready to call AAA or hop in the car and rescue him (sorry can't help the mommy instinct). This never even occured to Jim.

A few minutes later we hear the truck pull in the driveway, Bryan comes in the house all smiles, him and his buddies found a way in and they hoisted a smaller kid in the back side window that won't lock.

That's why boys need a Mom and a Dad, Jim gave him a good lesson in self-sufficiency.